14.

M O K S H

I watch her car disappear out of the iron gates with a clenched fist. A forlorn feeling settled inside my heart and I felt my stomach churning with anxiety as I saw her go. I closed my eyes and exhaled a deep breath.

I knew I messed up pretty bad, but I couldn't pinpoint anything, where I was wrong, or what I did, all I knew was that it felt as if she was slipping away slowly. It felt different, it felt weird, something I hadn't felt before.

Lasya made me feel giddy, she made me feel the feelings, I love how I can just look at her and be happy. More than a month with her, made me realise that there was something worthwhile in me and the way our eyes met made me realise that there was something worthwhile in the brown of my eyes too.

I don't know why, but I yearned for Lasya, my wife. I wanted her, I desired her, and I wanted to make her laugh since I hadn't seen her laughing, I wanted to be the reason for the smile that grazed her lips since I hadn't seen her lips stretching in a genuine smile.

I wanted to be the spark in her dull eyes, the excitement and liveliness running in her blood, the happiness of her life and the mate to her soul.

I wanted to be everything she craved, but the war of silence going between us had proved otherwise, I was left in a dilemma, in a state of uncertainty as Lasya left for Mumbai in a haze. I was aware that she was going to come back, but I didn't know if she was going to come back to me.

There were two different things, returning as the daughter-in-law of the Mehrotra family and returning as my wife, as Lasya Moksh Mehrotra.

She was upset, really upset for reasons unknown to me.

But I didn't want to judge her and jump to conclusions, rather I wanted to find out the flaws in me.

I knew for a matter of fact, that even though the relationship works 50-50 I was ready to give myself the 100 because for me my efforts were enough for the both of us, or at least that's what I thought.

"It hasn't even been an hour and you are already missing her", Nevan's voice brought me out of my thoughts. I turned a bit towards him as I closed the balcony window.

"It doesn't matter if it has been an hour or not, what matters is I've been missing her since the moment she stopped looking at me in the eyes as if I had disgusted her", I answered and stepped back

"It's something concerning the reception night, isn't it?", he questioned, his eyebrows thinned in confusion. "Hm", I nodded and sat on the couch in our room.

The room suddenly felt so empty, as if all the light and life had been snatched out of it. It's funny how this room was solely mine months before and now without her presence, it doesn't feel like my room anymore.

"I wonder what grave mistake you made after I left you in your room for Bhabhi to give you a cold shoulder, the whole family is concerned, to be honest, everyone's so obvious that there's a cold war going on between you two", he said as he walked towards me and sat on the couch beside me. "I don't know man, I seriously don't know", my voice was tried as I exhaled a sigh of exhaustion. My shoulders dropped and I rubbed my face with my hands, feeling worn out.

"Do you think it's something concerning your alcohol consumption of yours? Like maybe, I'm not sure but what if seeing you in that state might have triggered something in here", and that's when realisation dawned upon me.

The dried tear marks on her face, her refusing the brownies chachi cooked because it consisted of rum, she was aloof all the while because of me showing up with a drunken ass and I was completely obscured about it. How foolish of me.
Ek dam jaahil, gawar, papi kisam ka janwar hu mai, Lasya thik hi kehti thi! Sigh

[Translation: I am a dam illiterate, foolish and sinful animal, Lasya was right!]

"It's all because of that alcohol, sab uss daru ki wajah se ho raha hai, agar uss din nashedi na bana hota toh aaj apni vaali ke saath ishqiya lada raha hota", I muttered slapping my forehead. Nevan stared at me not understanding a thing.

[Translation: It's all because of the thought of alcohol, everything is happening because of that drug, if I had not become an addict that day, I would have been romancing my wife today.]

"Haye mere dost, mera laal, mera dulara, kabhi kabhi tera dimag sahi direction mein chal hi jata hai", I thanked him, crushing him in a bone-cracking hug as I kissed him loudly on his cheek, feeling grateful all of a sudden.

[Translation: Hi my friend, my son, my darling, sometimes your mind goes in the right direction]

"Chii! Gandha insaan, suar saale, yeh chipta-chipti, lipta-lipti apni biwi ke saath karna, mujhpe kyu apni hawas barsa raha hai", he wiped his cheek with a gross expression on his face, he gagged looking at his palm with which he had wiped his face. "Thik hai na, flow flow mein ho gaya, itna sadh kyu raha hai, maine kaunsi teri izzat lut li", I scoffed at him, giving him a look

[Translation: Dirty human being, you pig, do these hugs and kisses with your wife, why are you showering your lust on me?

: why are you being a spoilt sport now? It was just the heat of the moment, why are you being so nasty, which of your honour have I robbed?]

"Aur vaise bhi lutne ke liye izzat honi bhi chahiye, jho tere pass ratti bhar bhi nhi hai", I added shrugging my shoulders. "Saale haramkhor, teri madad karu mai, aur gaaliya bhi mai hi sunu", he dramatically threw his hands in the air and glared at me

[Translation: And anyway, to loot, one must have respect, which you don't even have.

: You bastard, I am the one always helping you and you abuse me only? ]

"Chal-chal, hawa aane de, aur vaise bhi tu toh mera langotiya yaar hai, abhi tujhe degrade nhi karunga toh kya gali ke kutte ko karunga", I kept a hand on his shoulder and shook his body violently making him roll of the couch and land on the floor.

[Translation: Move on, let the wind come, and anyway you are my friend since diapers, if I will not degrade you now, then whom will I degrade? The street dogs?]

"arre sorry, mai bhul gaya, kutte ke bhi kuch standards hote hai, wrong comparison", I laughed at his expression and he attempted to throw a cushion at me which I luckily dodged.

[Translation: Oh sorry, I forgot, even dogs have standards, unlike you, sorry, wrong comparison]

"Bhai yaar", we snapped our heads towards the direction of the door, Ziya stood rooted near the doorframe, the cushion near her feet and the glass of milkshake she carried emptied on her.

Nevan and I shared a look, but instead of going to her rescue, we both erupted into a fit of laughter, clenching our stomachs.

"I hate you both, MOM", Ziya stomped on her feet and ran towards her room, probably to change. Nevan and I calmed down from our laugh, and I wiped the tears that escaped my eyes.

My stomach pained from so much laughing, this past month I was so gloomy that I had forgotten to even smile but now after clearing my doubts I felt lively once again, with no more dead or corpse-like feeling.

And all thanks to Nevan, he knew ways to magically give me a serotonin boost. Pulao mein zeera, mera Bhai heera!

[Translation: Cumin in Pulao, my brother's diamond!]

It felt as if a huge stone was lifted off my shoulders and everything became clear too. Now I know what I have to do next, I am getting my wife back no matter what, at any cost. Mai aa raha hu soniyo!

[Translation: I am coming, darling]

The next day I was working my ass off in the office while Nevan was lazily plunged onto my office's couch with one leg hanging down, taking his power nap.

The couch was especially his preference so that it could accommodate his talk frame whenever he decided to crash into my office, ditching his work.

Seriously the man was so carefree related to work, radiating the joh hoga dekha jayega energy.
[Translation: We'll see whatever happens]

And here I was dying out of anxiety about how to coax my angry wife who was upset with me. "Nevan, saale kumbhakaran ki najayaj awlad, uth jaldi", I shouted making him come out of his beauty sleep. "Kya hua Bhai? Kiska kutta mar gaya?", he questioned, rubbing his eyes

[Translation: Nevan, you bastard Kumbhkaran's illegitimate child, get up quickly

: What happened, brother? Whose dog died?]

"Koi nhi mara, per agar tune mujhe Teri bhabhi ko manane ke tarike nhi suggest kiya na toh mai tujhe sacchi maar dunga, apne inn sundar se haathon se", I threatened while he just gave me a bored look. "Agar mai chala jaunga na, toh mere bina tera iss duniya mein akele balatkar ho jayega", he muttered under his breath and stood up on his feet, disappearing in the bathroom I had in my cabin.

[Translation: No one died, but if you don't suggest a way to convince your sister-in-law, I will kill you for real, with these beautiful hands of mine.

:If I go away, no one will let you live peacefully alone in this world without me]

He emerged after five minutes, he had washed his face and looked a bit presentable and alive. "Bol abhi, kya hua?", he questioned as he sat on the previous couch. "Valentine's week aa raha hai, teri bhabhi tab-tak wapas aa jayegi, kuch special surprise dena hai unhe", I said shutting my laptop and staring at him

[Translation: tell me now, what happened?

: Valentine's week is coming, and your sister-in-law will return by then, I have to give her a special surprise.]

Nevan seemed deep in thought before he spoke."it's simple, ring her best friend Samkyut, ask him about her likings and plan a wonderful date according to her preference, simple", my eyes widened and I quickly dropped a text to Samkyut, about the same. "You are such a lifesaver, meri jaan, what will I do without you", I said, my tone carrying gratefulness.

"Nothing much, probably just crying in a corner about how unfair life is to you", he shrugged his shoulders and wore his blazer. I ignored his comment and gazed at the time on my watch. It was late evening, Mom had asked me to come back early today.

I too wore my blazer and both of us walked towards the private elevator. We exited the office premises and walked towards the underground parking. I walked to my car, swiftly unlocking it, I pressed on the accelerator as the engine roared to life.

Nevan joined me in the passenger seat and I rolled out towards the main road. Soon my wife would replace this maroon's place and be the deserving passenger princess, or I could be her passenger prince too.

No worries, until she doesn't plan my death and throws me into an accident. She was capable of things, and one of them was making an intentional accident look unintentional, I just knew her enough and trusted her in that matter. God the woman was scary!

"Nev", I called out, minimising the volume of the radio. "Hmm", he replied and tried raising the volume again to which I swatted his hand away, he pouted and looked at me like a kicked puppy.

"Overthinking da Olympics ni hunda?", I questioned focusing on the road. I was genuinely nervous and my brain was overthinking a lot with all the possibilities of Lasya not liking my approach and I would end up being more distant from her. "Hunda hai na, there khwaaba wich", he scowled rolling his eyes and attempted to increase the volume when I hit his arms away again to which he angrily glared at me.

[Translation: There is no Olympics of Overthinking?

: it happens, but in your dreams]

"Stop being a girl and pissing me off, meri jaan phele hi sukhi jaa rhi hai yeh soch kar ki vho mujhse aur dur na chali jaaye", I put forth my concern as my grip tightened on the staring wheel.

[Translation: My life is already drying up thinking that she might go further away from me]

"Chill Bhai! Abhi aur time hai tere paas, aur vaise bhi bhabhi nein tujhe chor kar kahi nhi jana, I know the way she looks at you", I immediately applied the brakes and turned towards him with wide eyes. Nevan stared at me shocked as his body jerked forward, if not for the seatbelt he would have been out of the glass panel.

[Translation: You still have more time, and anyway sister-in-law is not going anywhere leaving you]

"Vho dekhti hai mujhe?", I question surprised with the newfound information, my insides filling with anticipation and a certain hope. "Obviously, tujhe hi dekhengi, apne pati ko nhi dengi toh kya padosi ko dekhengi", he sassed, adjusting himself in his seat. I ignored his remark and let it slide under the rug.

[Translation: she stares at me?

: Obviously, she will look at you only, if not at her husband then whom she will stare at? The neighbour?]

"Hayee! Chalo accha hai, at least vho mujhe dekhte toh hai, nhi toh mujhe laga tha ki mai hi unhe ghurta rhta hu", a grin stretched on my face from ear to ear and I was sure I resembled an overly excited child. With the same smile and enthusiasm, I started the engine and drove back to the mansion.

[Translation: it's good, at least she looks at me, or else I thought I was the only one ogling at her like a madman]

In no time we reached back to the mansion. Walking inside we noticed everything was dead silent. All the members were gathered in the living room completely tense about something. The environment was rigid with tension so thick in the air.

"Kya hua Bhai? Itna matam kyu chaya hua hai", I slapped Nevan's back at the choice of his words and he looked at me with a pained expression. I signalled towards Dadaji with my eyes and he stared at me shockingly before biting his tongue and acting as if zipping his lips.

[Translation: What happened, brother? Why is there so much mourning?]

"What happened dadaji? Why so serious?", I questioned, taking my seat on the couch followed by Nevan who chose to sit opposite me. "It's the Agarwals", my back turned stiff at the mention of that lunatic family and Nevan and I shared a look.

"They are behind us with the constant approach for the renewal of the contract, and from what Lasya has revealed, the merger in our business will prove nothing but facing losses", Dad explained his elbows resting on his things as he carried a serious look on his face. "Isn't there a way to completely block them?", I asked

"I fear there isn't, if not us, they'll go behind Lasya with their emotional manipulation and maybe blackmail her into signing the papers", chachu answered. My blood boiled at the mention of Lasya, I didn't want the nosy family to be with my wife's emotions anymore, since they had already done enough damage.

"Don't we have a way out? Which probably doesn't include dragging Lasya into the mess?", Nevan seemed to understand my feelings that he decided to voice my thoughts.

"I'll try. I just need time for the legal procedure and making the papers for the authorities. But we need to wait for Lasya to come back first. The poor child's already so caught up with her company's work, we don't want her tiring herself more", Chachu said and we all nodded agreeing to his words.

Lasya was tired with lots of work piled up, I had seen on her forehead the lines of exhaustion. She had pulled countless all-nighters, working on her laptop and drowning in cups of caffeine. I was seriously concerned about her health at a point but she completely brushed me off.

After dinner, I walked towards Ziya's room. I knocked on the door and stepped inside after hearing her faint approval.

"Aur chudail? Kya kar rhi hai?", I walked around her room, hands in my sweatpants pocket. She royally ignored my comment and focused on her phone.

[Translation: witch, what are you doing?]

I walked towards her bed and snatched the phone from her hold, throwing it onto the mattress. "Kya hai Bhai?", she whined pouting like an orangutan.

[Translation: what is it, Bhai?]

"Kya hai se tera kya matlab hai? Bhai hu tera, attention de mujhe", I plopped myself on the bed beside her. "Agar bhabhi yaha nhi hai iska matlab yeh toh nhi na ki aap mujhe pareshan karo", she groaned, hitting me with the pillow.

[Translation: What do you mean by what is? I am your brother, give me attention

: If my sister-in-law is not here, it does not mean that you should bother me]

"Aye, domestic violence ka case kar dunga tujhpe, hadd mein rhe aa apni", I threatened and threw a pillow back at her face. Soon it turned into a violent pillow fight with both of us aiming the pillows at each other at every chance we got. Our laughs echoed in the room and we fell on the bed tired, as we tried to catch our breaths.

[Translation: Hey, I will file a case of domestic violence against you, stay within your limits.]

"Per pata nhi yaar bohot yaad aa rhi hai unki", I admitted staring into space, lost in her thoughts."Teri bhabhi ko call lagana zara, dekhu toh kaha hai, kya kar rhi hai mere bina", I supported myself on my elbow and looked at Ziya

[Translation: I don't know, I miss her a lot.

:Just call your sister-in-law, let me see where she is, what is she doing without me?]

"Aap laga lijiye na, Bhai, aapki biwi hai", she replied with a teasing smirk. "Jitna bola utna kar na, laga chup chap call unko", I smacked her face, she made a face but obliged to my demand.

[Translation: You do it yourself, brother, she is your wife.

: Do as I say, call her silently.]

The phone rang a few times and my inside filled with excitement of listening to her voice after 24 hours. Seriously, no matter how much I tried I couldn't gather up the courage to dial her contact myself and talk to her. Call me a coward but I wanted to genuinely apologize to her face to face and then talk.

Finally, someone answered the phone and a big smile stretched on my face, but soon it fell off slowly.

Because it wasn't Lasya who answered the call, rather it was an unknown manly voice that spoke from the other side

"Hello?"