2.

L A S Y A

I stared at myself in the mirror as I ran a hand through the white satin lehenga with black dupatta getting rid of the non-existent creases. It was finally the big day. My baby sister was getting married. Since the day I'd landed in Delhi, I was completely caught up with work, the arrangements, guests, decoration and all the last-minute touches. Throughout my stay, my encounters with my family were few or only work-related.

Raina tried a few times talking to me but was always dragged by a family member or other. No one wanted me to interact with the new bride, maybe I was just a bad omen for them.

The whole week was tiresome and I barely got any sleep. My eyes were deeply tired but I masked them with a smile since I didn't want to ruin anything. The last I talked with my mother was during the Haldi ceremony, the previous night when I was supposed to apply the ubtan paste on Raina. From the corner of my eyes, I'd witness my mother getting emotional and pecking Raina's forehead softly. Maybe if I hadn't left the Agarwal mansion would they treat me the same? I had this question always within me but never found the answer too, because at various instances they had proved how unwanted my presence was to them.

With a sigh, I wore my earrings and strapped my heels. The door to my room opened and in walked both of my best friends looking handsome as ever. Dressed in a traditional kurta they looked devilous ravishing.

Even though Sam had pulled off the strong boy mask, Prit and I could see through his facade. He was trying his best to keep his emotions at bay and he had managed it gracefully. Throughout the whole event, he was the most enthusiastic one and got along with all the family members.

"Oh not the same boring white again, don't tell me you're going to walk around like a ghost wearing this. For god's sake it's your sister's wedding after all", Sam dramatically scowled at my choice of colour and scanned me from head to toe

I don't know why people had a problem with my white collection. I'd everything around me white. My workplace was white, every cloth and outfit of mine was white even if it may be my pyjamas or night suits. Everything I wore from sandals, earrings, watch straps, bags etc everything varied from all shades of white. May it be ivory, pearl, cotton, porcelain but white in every shade.

Especially Sam criticized me for this, according to him I was so obsessively in love with white which was eventually the truth. Since that incident, my life has been colourless. I'd stopped wearing colours and only wore pale and white.

Sam would always say that it was so bold of me to wear only white and show up to any party or event in colourless clothes, making it look like a fashion funeral. He had made sure to confess his displeasure towards my choice but I paid no heed to him and did what I wanted. Where else Prit wouldn't even care what colour I wore until I was showing up with a piece of cloth intact to my body.

"I did not ask for your opinion, and the last time I checked I care less about it", I answered back scrolling through my phone and selecting a picture to upload

"Oh! And how have you been so smart my lady?", he sassed back his voice filled with sarcasm as he passed me a nasty look

"Maybe I must have been given your share of intelligence", I replied with an extra sweet smile to which he winched

Prithvi silently enjoyed the drama while recording the whole and sending it to his sister. His younger sister would idolize me for always standing up against Sam and winning every argument. So Prit took it upon himself to record whenever Sam and I went bonkers so that his sister would take notes.

"Ugly bitch", I heard Sam muttering under his breath and Prithvi tried to control his laugh because he knew I was going to come up with something

"Bitch, please! My hair straightener's hotter than you", I made a gagging expression to him and walked towards the door. Even though Samyukt was good-looking and smart, I wasn't going to admit it.

Once outside I noticed that guests had started coming in and all the final arrangements were done. The wedding hall was beautifully decorated in scarlet, crimson hues and rose gold. The colour theme was according to Raina's preference as she wanted her wedding to have a royal theme.

I noticed my mother wrapped in a heavy red banarasi saree with her hair in a bun decorated with roses. She looked classy and an elite woman with her subtle makeup and gracious presence. Beside her was my father as the duo welcomed all the guests.

On the other side was Sam who was busy showing off his charms and wooing the female species. Prithvi was engrossed in a phone call, supposedly with his sister since she couldn't make it up to the event because of her exams.

I briskly walked towards my room, took the velvet jewellery box and made my way towards where Raina was getting ready. The velvet box had Nani's jewellery, it was an antiqued customised pustaini necklace that she had passed on to me before she took her last breaths. She wanted me to wear it to my wedding but since it was Raina who was getting married before me I think she deserved it more.

No matter how many indifferences we had I always loved and adored my baby sister. Raina and I had an age gap of 6 years. We were never together or spent time together because I moved to Mumbai at the age of ten after the horrifying incident. We had a series of various arguments whenever she visited Nani since our temperaments did not match but I still loved her selflessness.

On her every birthday I made sure I was the first one wishing her and gifting her the best gift of her liking. I knew I fell outside the list of people she loved and adored but alas she was a piece of my heart that I always loved from a distance.

Standing outside the door I took a deep breath before knocking on it. A few seconds passed by but no one answered from inside. Getting no response I turned the doorknob and stepped inside only to be welcomed by silence.

The beautician wasn't in my line of sight, the bridal lehenga lay untouched on the bed, and the room looked like no one had touched a single thing. Doubts clouded my thoughts and I felt suspicious when I heard noises coming from the washroom I walked towards it after keeping the jewellery box on the bed.

Inside the bathroom what I saw shocked me. Raina was in a plain T-shirt and jeans as she was busy stuffing clothes and packing bags.

"What are you doing Raina?", I questioned staring at her confusedly

"D-di?", her face went pale as she looked as if she had witnessed a ghost

"I'm asking what are you doing Raina?", I asked again when I noticed cash, clothes and her documents stumbling out from the bag since she was in a hurry

"D-di, i-I, n-not", her voice stammered and sweat formed on her forehead

"Why aren't you ready yet?, you're supposed to be down in less than an hour since the Baarat would arrive at any second", I said, she just liked her lips and looked at anything but me

A piece of paper fell from her shivering hands and before she could catch it I took hold of it. My eyes widened and shock would be an understatement of what I was feeling right now.

"You're trying to run away? Run away from your wedding, is this some kind of joke to you Raina?", my voice was a few decibels high as I felt baffled at her audacity

"Listen to me di, it's no one of your business, it's my life and I get to decide what I want", she retreated and tried to take the airline tickets from my hold

"Have you lost the last two brain cells of yours? This isn't a doll house play where everything will go according to you. Come back to your senses", I gritted my teeth and glared at her before catching her wrist and dragging her outside

"Leave me di, I said leave me", she protested against my hold but I still pulled her out of the bathroom and into the room

Once near the bed she jerked my hand and I stumbled back with force, "I said fucking leave me di, you can't decide what I'm supposed to do" Her voice was sharp and sliced through my heart

"I'm your sister for God's sake, so now you're going to listen to me. Get in this fucking dress of yours, get your makeup done and without any drama come down", I threatened clenching my jaw to control my anger

"No I'm not doing any such thing, I'm not getting married to anyone. I'm going to run away and live a life of my own", she yelled at my face making me seethe in sheer anger

"Are you even listening to yourself, girl? You're the bride imagine the disgrace the family would go through and you'll be tagged as the runaway bride", I tried to coax her but all in vain

"Abhi aap kyu achanak se acchai ki murat ban rhi hai di? The last time I checked you ran away from home for that boyfriend of yours. I'm just following your footsteps", my eyes widened at her audacity and before I knew I'd landed a slap right across her face

[Translation: Now why are you suddenly being so good? The last time I checked you ran away from home for that boyfriend of yours. I'm just following your footsteps]

The slap was strong as the voice resonated through the room, her face turned towards the opposite direction and her steps stumbled. My eyes turned red as tears blurred my vision. My heart clenched because of her words and I felt my throat clogging with emotions.

"Don't spit nonsense if you don't know a single thing, Raina, you won't like the consequences", I spat and clenched my fist trying to control the overpowering rage

"As if you care, you don't, di, you don't, you're just so selfish and self-centred that you didn't even think twice about me for once", she scoffed turning her face towards me

"You knew right? You knew how toxic, envious, and egoistic people living under the Agarwal mansion are. But you chose to fly away and never come back to me", her voice broke and her brown eyes stared straight into my Hazel once

"You were so blinded by your freedom that you never for once looked back. They tortured me, di, they turned me into that version of myself from which you always run away, they were so blinded by money and fame that they never cared about my emotions", she burst into tears and fell on the ground

"They wouldn't let me meet you, talk to you and I thought at least you would make an effort but you never did. You left me alone, vulnerable and suffering among these vultures who fed upon me as they tore me piece by piece", her voice carried so much pain and agony that I was left tormented within

Hot tears leaked my eyes and I sniffed walking towards her. I crouched down to her height and wrapped my hands around her shaking frame. I never thought Raina would go through this much. I thought Raina was happy with her luxurious life but oh how wrong I was. She has her share of traumas and sufferings she was put through. Her scars maybe invisible were overshadowed by the life of riches that I failed to realise that it's not always what it looks like.

"Oh, my baby! I'm sorry I wasn't there when you needed me the most", I caressed her head and planted soft kisses on her forehead trying to comfort her

My voice broke and my hold tightened when Raina's cries intensified.

"Shh! Baby it's gonna be alright, mai hu na yaha ab, kuch nhi hoga meri laado ko, kuch nhi hone dungi Mai", I cooed in her ear and continued to rock her back and forth

[Translation:Shh! Baby it's gonna be alright, I'm here now, nothing will happen to my darlings, I won't let anything happen]

"Shaadi nhi karni hai na tujhe? Nhi karwayega koi Teri Marzi ke bina", I assured her, she looked up from my embrace and asked, "Sacchi?"

[Translation: you don't want to get married? No one will get it done without your consent.

: really?]

"Muchhi", I smiled affectionately at her and blinked reassuringly.
[Translation: I promise]

I took my phone from the bed and typed a message before sending it. I know what I wanted to do now.

Time skipped and I was changed and dressed again. But this time in the deep red bridal lehenga. I was alone in the room while I stared at myself. Walking towards the bed I opened the red velvet jewellery box and ran my fingers over the neckpiece. Maybe this is how things were supposed to end.

Quickly wearing the jewellery I covered my face with the veil when I heard footsteps. I know it was wrong, so wrong of me to take the place of my sister but this was the only option left for me. I'd promised my sister that she wouldn't have to suffer anymore and I was going to keep that promise even if it meant taking her place. I was ready to endure all the hate and insults I would receive after the truth would be out but for now, this is all I could do.

My parents won't step back from the wedding, the business merger was more important to them than their daughter's happiness. No one would listen to me no matter how much I tried to convince so this was supposedly the last option I had.

I know I was betraying everyone and keeping them in the dark, once the truth would be out everything would be in chaos but I would handle them later. I'd gone through a lot in life and this didn't even make ten percent of it. The Mehrotra wanted an Agarwal daughter, right according to the treaty? So it shouldn't matter if it's the elder one or the younger one until and unless their contract patch is safe.

I felt bad for my would-be husband and his family. I was doing them wrong, but this is what they had signed for when they agreed on the contract.

Suddenly the door opened and in walked all my female cousins. My voice laboured and sweat covered my forehead. My throat ran dry and I felt uneasy in this heavy outfit. I swear to the almighty I'd never wear this colour or outfit that would weigh tons ever again.

"Chalein?", one of them asked to which I just nodded.

Raina and I were of similar height, mine being an inch taller than her's so I was assured that no one would suspect anything. My steps wobbled and my heart thumped hard against my cage. All of them laughed misunderstanding my state for wedding jitters. Only if they knew.

In no time we reached the lawn and the music started for the bridal entry which was supposed to be for the actual bride, not the replacement. Goosebumps covered my arms and freed washed over me with passing seconds. My vision was blank because of the heavy veil and I could only see my steps.

My steps were slow and hazy as I neared my ruins. I knew was going to be ruined, my life wouldn't be the same anymore. I was destroying many lives for saving one, but I was selfish. For once, I wanted to forget about what's right and what's wrong and focus on my sister.

A lone tear escaped my eyes as I realised the fact that I was destroying someone's life but the damage was already done. Once the truth is out it would bring shame to my family, to his family, to me, and to us but sometimes better than nothing right?

Soon I reached the mandap, I was helped in ascending the stairs and was seated beside him, my would-be husband. His musky scent filled my nostrils and I felt intoxicated with the fragrance. I mentally chided myself for my stupidity, this isn't the place and time for this. And I realised that I only knew his name and nothing else about him.

Everything passed in a blur, all the mantras of the pandit ji felt deaf to my ears and soon it was time for the pheras. My heart sank with each round around the holy fire and a nagging feeling arose in the back of my head forcing me to stop and reveal the truth. But every time I would think of it Raina's crying face would cloud my vision and I'd stop.

My heart sank deeper when I felt his presence near me. His veiny hands appeared before me as he attempted to make me wear the mangalsutra [translation: nuptial chain]. His fingers brushed ever so slightly against my neck and I felt a jolt of electricity rushing in my veins. Goosebumps erupted on my arms and a deep shiver ran through my spine.

Soon after the mangalsutra the sindoor [translation: vermilion] followed swiftly and in no time we were announced married, tied in a scared bond.

My heart felt overwhelmed with the flooded emotions and I dig my finger nails in my palm enough to draw blood. I closed my eyes when the red powder was filled in my hair partition. Because of the long vile it was difficult and a lot of powder fell on my nose making me sneeze.

I rubbed my nose to get rid of it and my finger tips turned into a crimson. And in no time I turned Mrs Lasya Moksh Mehrotra simply from Lasya Agarwal unintentionally. But I was the replaced bride.

I closed my eyes and sniffed a little. My eyes burned with all the tears and I felt a lump in my throat.

The next few hours were in a blur as I was passed on well wishes which were supposed to be for my sister. I had my arms in a tight fist hidden under my dupatta. I was hiding them because they were void of any henna and I didn't want anyone to suspect until I was in everyone's sight of view.

Soon it was time for bidaai. Never in my wildest dream had I imagined a day like this to come. I was married and my husband or my in-laws weren't aware of whom they were welcoming into their family hell my parents didn't even know that they wedded their eldest daughter whose existence they didn't even care.

"Be happy my child and I'm sorry for everything", it was my mother as she took me in a deep hug. I closed my eyes and more tears followed. It was the first time she was hugging me so close to her, even if she thought of me as Raina, the hug still meant a lot.

One by one everyone from my martial family either hugged me or blessed me and I knew they were far from being genuine. All they wanted was to create a good image in front of the Mehrotra's.

"Raina", it was my father. My back stiffened and a shiver ran down my spine because of his gruff voice and I felt scared. I was always intimidated by my father's presence and the only one I feared was him.

"We all will miss you a lot, Raina. And if that nuisance of a sister contacts you tell her we have nothing to do with her anymore. She had brought enough shame to our family, tell her not to show her face ever again", his voice was sharp and sliced through my heart

Tears escaped my eyes when I felt his hands embracing me. Never had he hugged me in my life, never had he expressed love or genuine concern towards me, but today being held in his gentle embrace reminded of the love craving child I once was. My throat hurt with the forming lump and it was getting hard to breathe with the piled up emotions. But I was yet once again reminded of my unwanted presence.

I feared if anyone heard the shattering of my heart as it broke into pieces like broken glass. I never for once imagined that my father bore this much hatred for me that he wouldn't even consider me his daughter. Weren't daughters supposed to be their father's princess?

Was I so awful that my own father disgraced me and called me names? Everyday! I no longer feel that it might hurt me but it does, I tell myself that I'm past that but it still does affect me. Because everywhere I go I see glimpses of everything I have been through.